The Loony English Language

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Some of the oddities of the English language:

  • There are no eggs in eggplants, no ham in hamburger and neither apple or pine in pineapple.
  • English muffins weren’t invented in England or French Fries in France.
  • Quicksand works slowly
  • Boxing Rings are square
  • A guinea pig is not from Guinea nor is it a pig.
  • And why do writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese so one moose, two meese? Sorry but no!
  • Why can you make amends but not one amend?
  • If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
  • If vegetarians eat vegetables what does a humanitarian eat?
  • How come a slim chance and a fat chance mean the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
  • Why do you ship something by lorry, send cargo by ship or have a nose that runs and feet that smell?
  • Why is it that when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible?

 

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